Friday, 28 May 2010

In The Midst Of The Dreaded E-Word

This is perfectly innocent, and my dreaded 'E-Word' would what I would often refer to as hell; for some of you who do not share like-mindedness, it is exams. They're horrible! I can't say I have performed particularly well in the exams I have had to sit this week and the growth of pessimism is steadily brewing in my mind. My once positive and constantly upbeat mood is now short-lived, and my urge to snap at people or be easily offended has been quick to take over. Tell me; do all teens endure this painful sense of uncontrollable happenings, and if so, is it heightened around the exam period?

Entering my first exam, nerves soon gained full control of my bodily movements and I began to fidget, unwillingly. The clock struck 9 (a.m.) and we were given the heads up - 'girls, you may now begin'. I could have easily sat there for multiple, consecutive hours, until they voiced the word start that would soon trigger the frantic page-turning and pen movements. Staring at the carefully selected questions, I searched to locate my topic - finally, American Civil Rights! But that was not all. No, this was just the beginning. Flicking through and skimming my wide eyes across the page, I located the other question. The topic? Russia. I cannot say I was thrilled, though I was very aware this would be creeping up on me. Sitting there attempting to gather my thoughts in order to produce a detailed plan to go by, the clock urgently ticked. Never has time flown by so quickly in my entire life. Breathless and curious to how far everyone else may have got in comparison to my anxious self, I pressed black, ballpoint pen to paper and started to write. 'Please finish the sentence you are on and close your booklets'; a sigh of relief, you would have thought? No. Not at all. Without regurgitating all my detailed facts of knowledge onto the paper in the amount of time set, I dispiritedly handed over my paper. One thing I can genuinely detest in this world, is the overwhelming sense of uselessness when you enter an exam room and don't perform to your absolute best abilities. It is something I will constantly battle in an attempt to work on. Confidence - I welcome you with open arms!

An English Literature and Language exam followed, the next day. The starting time? 1 p.m. This time I woke up feeling slightly more relaxed and a great deal more confident. Perhaps this was the wrong was to go about it, and the much needed 'fight or flight' response (for those Psychology students among you) would have given me a far more active mind. I can now honestly state that entering an exam being quite calm because you know the conversation and literary terminology, while perceiving yourself as 'safe' because you're an avid reader is not, I repeat, not a good approach nor a sensible one, at that. One crucial thing I avoided at all costs was applying my knowledge to a question and tailoring it suitably - this I only concentrated on as homework and in school, and did little of it out of school. So, listen up girls and boys - practice, practice, practice!

As for the half-term that I'm so grateful is here, it will be spent revising, as much as possible, in a bid to up the ante for my upcoming exams in preparation for being greeted with five in a mere four days, upon my return! Thankfully The Times is predicting a nice Bank Holiday Monday, and with that, I will end my blog on a high-note!

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